September 2009
1 post
Overthinking
is such a bitch. It seems all I can do lately, what with my inability to sleep and all. Everything was going just fine; things were back to normal with me and him. And then something changed. I sure as hell can’t tell you what. But something has definitely changed with him, and it’s not something good. It was at first; he was more affectionate and a lot nicer. But now he’s...
March 2009
1 post
Insomnia 101
It sucks being this tired and unable to sleep.
Not to mention waiting for Mrs. Lorraine to bring those rather important documents over.
Either way, I’m wasting away in front of the computer screen again.
My eyes do NOT want to stay open at all.
Ambien works wonders on insomnia, but it’s also damn hard to fight when you take it and end up staying up longer than you intended.
...
February 2009
1 post
It's funny
how my life is now compared to how it used to be.
and how different I am than how I used to be.
I’m a lot more selfish now. Or at least I feel selfish.
My life has become completely centered around him, leaving me no time for anyone else.
Everyone still matters to me just as much as they used to, but I just don’t make time for other people anymore.
It kills me to reach this...
January 2009
2 posts
This can’t go on much longer.
This pretending like everything is okay.
Maybe I’m convincing people, but I can’t do it much longer.
Soon he’ll be able to see what he’s done to me.
I just hope he doesn’t think differently of me for it.
I just can’t be strong for his benefit anymore.
I’ve been doing it for far too long.
People have always told me that things get worse before they get better. Somehow, I have a problem believing that as far as current situations go. Because it’s been a while, and things aren’t getting better. In fact they are just continually getting worse.
I graduate in 4 months and 2 days. I suppose that is one of the better things to look forward to. I’m also moving out soon...
December 2008
6 posts
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
– The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky
I just reread this book, and it reminded me why it’s my absolute favorite book. If you’ve never read it, you should.
It's very odd
How things work.
And how things work out.
I’ve had a lot of hurt in my life, but somehow nothing like this. This is new — uncharted territory. But somehow, I’m able to keep it all in; not let it show. The fact that I’m doing this is what tells me that I really love him, and I think that’s the saddest thing of all. Because even if he is the first person I’ve...
Things in my life have a tendency to constantly fall apart.
This was no different; I don’t know why I ever thought it would be.
And somehow, I’m never, ever good enough no matter how hard I try to be.
The DMV
Was a bust.
Turns out it’s 23 dollars, not 5, to get the address on my license changed. I might as well lose the damn thing while I’m at it, since it costs the same to get a replacement one. It also turns out that I need proof of residency and a parent or legal guardian because I’m under 19. Now if you’re not from Alabama, I’ll have you know that in Alabama you have...
“If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.”
– The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath
I figure I’ll post a quote or two from every book I read.
Just seems like a good idea to me.
First Post
Yep. My first blog post.
I’m not exactly sure why I started this, so bear with me if you will.
So I spent most of my sleepless night doing a powerpoint on The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.
Very interesting book, although the ending did nothing more than piss me off.
I believe this blog will be a secret for now.
My friends would probably just make fun of me for it anyway.
Whatever. Place to...