The Cassie Bell Chronicles
I don't sleep much.
People have always told me that things get worse before they get better. Somehow, I have a problem believing that as far as current situations go. Because it’s been a while, and things aren’t getting better. In fact they are just continually getting worse.
I graduate in 4 months and 2 days. I suppose that is one of the better things to look forward to. I’m also moving out soon after that, thank God. I can’t wait to get out of this town. The whole place is poisonous, along with the people in it. Of course, what’s to say that the people I’m moving with aren’t just as poisonous as the rest of this place? What’s to say I’m not poisonous as well? Nothing, I suppose. I’m dead positive that one of the people I’m moving with is part of this town’s poison, or at least he is poisonous to me. But I like his kind of poison, even when it’s slowly working it’s way through my veins and killing me.
My mother has been infected by this place, and she is just as poisonous as the rest of it. As bad as it might sound, I can’t wait to get away from her either. I’ve been taking care of her for most of my life, and once I’m gone I’ll have a chance to take care of myself instead. Not that I’ll actually do that; I spend my time worrying about and caring for other people.
It’s really sad what my life has come to. The only times I am happy are when I’m intoxicated. I spend all of my time around him, as torturous as it is. I can’t stand not seeing him, even seeing him hurts every time. I know he cares, but I also suspect that he never cared about me in the way I care about him. He’s told me otherwise plenty of times, and I’m not trying to call him a liar. I just have doubts. His actions tell a different story than his words do. Either way, I still trust him completely. I suppose the only reason for that is that his intentions were never to hurt me, and my trust is based on his intentions more than his actions. People make mistakes and he is no different.
If I’m lucky, this rough spot will pass quickly and things will work out the way I want them to. Unfortunately, the odds of me getting lucky are very, very slim.
